subject: Your Breakup Was For a Good Reason - Then Why Is It So Hard? [print this page] Your Breakup Was For a Good Reason - Then Why Is It So Hard?
Breakups can happen for all types of reasons including misunderstandings and things that have nothing to do with the relationship and it can be hard to move on from the breakup because the reasons don't seem valid in your head, but when the breakup occurs over something more serious like betrayal or abuse then it should be easy to move on, right? Then why are so many people finding it so hard to move on from a breakup that needed to happen due to an unhealthy relationship?
There are two main reasons for this and if you understand those reasons then it becomes easier to move on and get over them for good.
The first reason that is holding you back from getting on with your life is the emotional connection you two had.
There are very few people in life that we have a really emotionally connected relationship with. Our best friends, some family members, and our intimate partners are a few of the very rare connections that we make like this. The rest of our connections are not on a deeply emotional level but more of a surface level connection, meaning we don't share our deepest thoughts and concerns with them like we do with closer relationships.
So the fact that there are very few of these deep emotional connections throughout our lives makes it easy to understand why we have such a hard time letting them go!
What you have to remember is that they were there for a reason and for that specific time. They probably helped you get through some tough times or they may have just taught you a deep lesson about yourself - but either way, you should take what you got from them, appreciate it, and move on to find another deep connection that will be healthier for you.
The second reason that is holding you back from moving on is the fact that you expelled a lot of energy with them and don't necessarily want to have to do it all over again.
This doesn't have to be bad energy but it can also be just the process of getting to know each other, dating, getting to know their friends and family, sharing things about your personal life, learning things about them, creating memories, planning a future, and so on and so forth. The thought of having to do this all over again is much harder than the thought of just getting back with your ex where you are comfortable and know what is going on - even if it was abusive.
You can't look at this future with exhaustion and dread. You have to look at it with excitement and passion or you are not going to want to get out and start experiencing it!
Be excited about your new experiences that are coming towards you and the new life you are going to be making for yourself, and literally get pumped for the future by stopping the negative thoughts and craving for the past and replacing them with thoughts of excitement for the future.
A thought takes about a few weeks to fully become a belief so if you keep thinking about this excitement it will eventually become a permanent and exciting belief and you will be freed from your past relationship for good.
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