subject: Problem Children? - Are You Being Too Demanding And Expecting Too Much From Your Child? [print this page] Problem Children? - Are You Being Too Demanding And Expecting Too Much From Your Child?
There is a joke going round that says that when we deal with problem children, very often it is the parents who actually need all the behavior therapy! Well, there may be some truth in this as I know many parents are just not up to parenting. Either they have no interest or they are completely clueless about how to approach this minefield.
One of the most common mistakes parents make when dealing with problem children is that they are expecting far too much from them. They are setting standards and expectations which are very often just not possible from a developmental point of view.
They might expect younger children to be considerate and generous with their peers whereas a young child has not reached that stage yet. Similarly with teenagers, they expect them to have it all worked out and that they know their goals and are going to achieve them. Were parents just like that when THEY were younger? I doubt it!
Many parents try to get their children to analyze why they have behaved in a certain way. This is great in theory because the emphasis can be on verbalizing how they feel and how they are going to deal with anger, frustration and envy. Unfortunately, very often they cannot verbalize these feelings at all and they will just come up with blaming somebody else. But there is a really good technique in getting them to talk about their behavior. You can find this out in the program I recommend below.
Another mistake parents make when they have problem children is that they make allowances for their kids because they have a learning disability so certain rules are bent in their favor. This is understandable but totally misguided. The starting post is the same for everyone when they reach adulthood so why should your child be favored in any way? They will have to cope with the demands of society and interact with other people on the planet and there are no allowances made. Again, the best way of dealing with this is in the program below.
Would you like to find out what these techniques and hundreds of others are? You will be able to deal with every situation from how to deal with mouthy aggressive kids to how to cope with defiance and unmotivated kids. These are the sorts of things that you need to deal with when you have problem children. Why not find out more from my website?
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