subject: Boundaries For Your Children: Setting Them And Enforcing Them [print this page] Boundaries For Your Children: Setting Them And Enforcing Them
Sometimes children cross all boundaries and this is what brings them into conflict with their parents. Every parent desires to take the best care of their kids that they can and one way that they can do so is by defining the kind of behavior in their kids that is acceptable and also the behaviors that are not acceptable.
Parents, must, after defining boundaries of behavior learn how to enforce house rules, especially in regard to the behavior of older children. In this regard, parents will do well to set two different types of rules that should be enforced to keep their children in check.
House rules should be enforced at two levels: one to reflect the parents values and structure as well as their moral authority. The second level is one that deals with ensuring that the child lives in harmony with their parents. This should not however mean that the kids are put under too many controls.
It is in fact a good idea for parents to encourage their kids to grow up to be responsible and independent but this has to be earned rather than given. Getting a job is one way to help a child become more independent. So, parents must encourage their children to get a job as that would help them become more independent in life.
On the other hand, parents may be forced into setting boundaries in regard to allowing their children to stay out all night. Of course, no parent is going to permit their children to stay out all night. The important thing about creating boundaries of behavior is to ensure that you discuss everything with your child before establishing rules and setting limits.
In fact, parents should, when their child reaches the age of eighteen, discuss things so that house rules can be formed. It pays to sit down with the child and then everything that is discussed should be put in writing so that everything is clear and there is no room for ambiguity.
The boundaries of acceptable behavior must deal with what the child can and cannot do and it is also important o specify how the child will support themselves in whatever they have to do. The rules must also be laid down that show what will be done if the child breaks bounds and does something that he or she should not do.
Be sure to specify acts and behaviors that are absolutely forbidden and these should be spelt out clearly in writing. This will help in drawing a thin line between carrying the child on your shoulders and showing proper support to them.
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