subject: How To Discipline A Defiant Child [print this page] Disciplining children is a real challenging task for parents and even more so if they have to deal with a defiant child. It is not much of a surprise to hear parents struggling to make defiant children listen to what they say. It can be easy to run out of creative ideas especially when the child simply ignores you completely or lash out at you when you ask them to do something. Here are a few ways that you can try if you want a defiant child to listen and become a little more compliant:
Talk less. Since defiant children often contradict what you say, then it can work to your advantage if you talk less. Nagging them will just trigger a negative response so you can opt for a new approach. It would not only be less stressful on your part but you also have a better chance of making them listen to you if you avoid the reprimanding and yelling method.
Allow them to make choices. More often than not, a child becomes defiant when they don't like to do what you are asking of them. By giving them options, you will become less of a bad guy because part of the consequences is their doing. For example, if your child refuses to tidy up his room, then you can tell him that you will do the cleaning but he will have no say as to what you are going to throw into the garbage bin. That way, he will prefer to do the cleaning himself if he doesn't want you to touch any of his prized possessions.
Try the reward system. Most, if not all, children have something that they want really badly. If you have a defiant child, you can use this to your advantage. You can give privileges and rewards when your child shows positive behavior. Anything that appeals to the child can be used as a reward. For example, you can bake his favorite cookie or buy his favorite ice cream flavor when he does as told. But you have to make sure to use this technique in moderation. Otherwise, the child might end up abusing it. Also, you have to point and stress out that he got the reward for the good behavior that he or she has shown.
Because parents cannot choose what kind of children they can have, it is best to accept the fact that every child has unique traits and some of these are not so good. It is a parent's responsibility to look for parenting styles that would be effective in dealing with defiant children so that they will grow up to become responsible adults and useful citizens in society by the time they are out on their own.
by: Rhonda Jones
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