subject: What To Do When Kids Lie - Strategies From Child Behavior Therapy [print this page] What To Do When Kids Lie - Strategies From Child Behavior Therapy
We all tell lies and we even justify telling a white lie as adults because we feel that this method is better, safer and less trouble than having to tell the truth. We do it all the time and we tell lies so that we can avoid an embarrassing situation or get out of an invitation that is not appreciated. So, when kids lie, is this different and what should we, as parents do about it? Maybe we are worried that our children are going to become pathological liars.
Shawn Christ, neuropsychologist at the University of Missouri-Columbia has done some interesting studies on lying. He found that kids who lie best are those who have better executive functioning and better cognitive abilities. Lying involves multiple brain processing as information has to be stored and then manipulated to tell the lie. It also involves some pretty complicated reasoning abilities.
The age of the child will also determine at what development stage he is at and lying behavior will vary according to age. This is an enormous problem when asking children to testify in criminal cases because a four year old may fabricate a whole tissue of lies because that is normal for that age. Researchers at the University of Toronto Institute of Child Study also came to the same conclusion.
As parents, we have to encourage telling the truth and we have to say why this is better for everybody all round. It is interesting to note too why kids lie. They mainly do it to solve a problem and that is the only way they know. It is like a faulty survival kit.
How do we deal with the problems when kids lie? The main thing is to be a role model ourselves so we should not be caught lying and if we do lie, then it should not in front of the kids.
The second way we can deal with this problem is to make sure that we actually deal with the lie when it happens or as soon as possible afterwards. That way we are facing up to the lie and we explain why it is a problem to the child. We are teaching them above all the consequences of lying and that is a very important part of their upbringing because they will be learning how to be responsible and accountable for their actions. These then are the basic strategies from child behavior therapy to deal with lies.
If you have other problems related to the fact that your kids lie all the time, you can get great advice from a child behavior program which is the one I recommend below. This was written by James Lehman who was a runaway teen and spent six years in jail. I think he knows a few things about lying and the consequences. His program will offer you invaluable tips and strategies for dealing, not just with lying but with other behavior issues as well.
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