subject: Oppositional Children? Time To Get Back In Control Again [print this page] Oppositional Children? Time To Get Back In Control Again
The behavior patterns of oppositional children usually follow a fairly well defined path. The first thing we notice is the defiance and the almost insatiable desire to have a confrontation at all costs!
Then there is the power game that they use to make sure that they win all the time. They are intent on showing that they have power. This might not necessarily mean that they actually get what they want. But their power is evident when they can make parents angry, or even cause an argument between parents or simply ruin the atmosphere in the home by increasing tension levels to an all time high.
In a way, power struggles for teenagers are very important because it is part of getting more autonomy but there are more civilised ways they can do that! If we can succeed in letting them have their power struggles in a reasonable way, then that is good. It is even better when they learn that with gaining autonomy, they also have to take responsibility and be accountable for their actions, then that is even better.
But you have to draw the bottom line with oppositional children in that they can discuss the things they want to get or have in a way which is not aggressive, defiant or displays obnoxious behavior.
As parents we have to be very clear about where the boundaries are. Once you give in, then oppositional children will see that as a victory and they will keep pushing the boundaries back so that our parental authority is in shreds.
Very often, parenting experts tell us, the home environment can actually encourage oppositional behavior. Just think of a home where everything is managed down to the last detail and everything is controlled. The opposite scenario is where things are much more loosely structured and the boundaries set by the parents are rather vague or even non existent. Either scenario can be a fertile ground for defiant and confrontational behavior.
The bottom line here is that parents have to make sure that there is a structure in place and that the boundaries are set. Parents have to ensure that they are always in control but at the same time ensure that their children feel loved and supported.
If you feel that your oppositional children are getting the upper hand, why not learn about a few strategies in order for you to deal with this problem without losing your sanity. By adopting a child behavior program in your home, you could transform your children and regain control. Why not check out the child behavior program I have recommended below?
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