subject: Dealing With An Unruly Child Easily! [print this page] Rules are important but if badly explained or not explained at all, they can easily sound unfair to your child. An unruly child is a child who doesn't understand the rules settled by his parents. What you need to understand is the ineffectiveness of your rules when they are not discussed.
An unruly child, just like a lying child, or a child with any bad behavior is the result of a bad communication between you and your child. You can clearly change your child's behavior by applying a different "strategy" with him, by using new communication tools.
Here are the 4 easy steps you can take to deal effectively with your unruly child:
1. Give an accurate explanation of your reactions, the rules you set up, the punishments you give. Say exactly what you say no to. If you don't explain things but just apply logic consequences to your kid's bad behavior (logic to you!), you can't be surprised he'll keep doing what you forbade.
2. Always look for the causes of a bad behavior and try to give a response to the lack of attention or privacy your child or teen might be suffering from. Always look at a bad behaviour as a way of expression.
3. Give your child alternatives to his bad behaviour and most of all, talk about the good things his good behaviour can bring in his life and on the other hand what his bad behaviour creates in you (disappointment, worries, no trust in him) and therefore in his own life.
4. Don't be a robot. Be vulnerable, talk about your feelings, what you were thinking of the rules in your family when you were a child, what they taught you, how rules are an expression of the love you feel for your child. Rules show you care. No rules mean we don't really care. With this explanation, your child will feel secure and loved through the rules you settle.
With these advices, I hope you'll have another vision of your unruly child and will help him respect the rules by understanding they mean you care. If it's hard to apply because your situation is more complicated, a parenting method could help you and support you. You need new communication tools, this is very important. When you'll start parenting differently, a real change will occur in your child's behavior, not before.
by: Laura Kaine
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