subject: When Your Child Should Learn Self Defense [print this page] The decision to learn self defense is becoming less and less optional for most kids today. From schoolyard bullying to mass shootings, all kinds of violence at school are increasing, and the only way to survive without psychological trauma is to know how to handle yourself when your world turns violent.
Young kids - elementary schoolers - are best left to go to an adult when trouble brews in their lives. The extent of their self defense ability is yelling loudly, running away, and finding an adult who can defend them - even if they enroll in a martial arts class or some other combat training, a child of this age is simply not coordinated or focused enough to meaningfully defend themselves from an adult. Add to that the fact that they're not responsible enough to carry pepper spray, and it's best to just count on adults to protect them.
But around middle school age, when the bullies' personalities are starting to show, it pays for your child to start to learn self defense basics. The temptation at this age might be to give them some mace, show them how to use it, and leave it at that -- but that won't solve the problem. Bullies will pick on any child that will allow it, and pepper spray is the middle school equivalent of a nuclear bomb: your child might use it once and be left alone, but they will be seen as hiding behind their weapon. That's not where you want them to be.
Instead, consider asking them to learn self defense strategies and techniques. Even if you have to order a self defense DVD from a reputable Internet source and guide them through it yourself, teaching them the basics will improve their confidence and understanding of their capabilities. For a middle schooler, it's best to stick with blocks, evasion techniques, and one or two very simple attacks like the straight punch and the front kick.
As they get older and more disciplined, you can assess their maturity level and decide when they are ready to learn self defense techniques that require restraint such as throws and joint locks. Any decent self defense DVD will include moves that counter the most common schoolyard attacks: haymakers, jabs, front kicks, choke holds, and hair grabs. Make sure your child is familiar with methods of defense from these common attacks that don't involve inflicting any lasting damage on the attacker, or you might end up the victim of a lawsuit!
By the time a child is in high school, assuming they're not a bully themselves, they are generally capable of intelligently applying the principles of self defense in an accurate an confident manner. There is no greater satisfaction than hearing your daughter describe how she stopped a fight or helped a friend shoo away an overassertive boyfriend. Don't wait until your child is already being bullied to get them to learn self defense!
by: Bruce Strong
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