subject: Raising Young Kids Tips: Shift The Responsibility [print this page] One of the things I've noticed about parenting toddlers is that kids can be very demanding. Not only will they make demands of you, but their demands can get increasingly specific. It almost seems like they are doing it on purpose jut to see how far they can push things.
My youngest daughter is a perfect example of this. When she was about 3 years old she used to wake up early in the morning and I'd go downstairs to have breakfast with her while everyone else was still sleeping. She's ask for cereal. I'd get the Cheerios. She'd tell me "No, I want Raisin Bran!" I'd grab the yellow plastic kids bowl to pour it for her. She's say "No, I want the ORANGE bowl!"
In the beginning I wasn't worried about this. It was no big deal, and it wasn't worth a fight. But soon afterward I realized I was going to have to show her how to make her own decisions and how to be responsible for her own choices. After I came to that realization, I started making her do things for herself if she changed her mind.
Say she told me she wanted Raisin Bran in the orange bowl. If she later decided that she actually wanted the yellow bowl, it was her problem to solve. I would simply tell her, "Sure sweetie - you can go get whatever bowl you want from the drawer". Problem solved. Early on she would fuss and ask me to get it for her, but I didn't. I was firm and polite about how she changed her mind and she would have to take care of the change by herself.
Kids like to have things done for them and they like to push the boundaries to see how much control they can have over parents. Rather than get mad at them for these natural "tests", it's much better to just help them learn how to make their own decisions and how to take action for themselves.
Always keep in mind that children will get upset if you say "No" right to their face. It can really be easier to say "I see - you want a different color bowl? No problem, here's where you can go to get it by yourself" When you do this you're presenting a solution
If you don't offer a solution, then you're probably putting up a roadblock - and inviting a fight. Offering a solution, but not carrying it out for your child, forces them to take the appropriate responsibility and gets them to take action.
Toddlers test boundaries all the time. It's a normal part of learning. When you start to understand this, things get easier. It becomes easier to redirect things towards finding a solution that your child can participate in.
by: Chris Thompson
welcome to Insurances.net (https://www.insurances.net)
