subject: Kids Overnighters, Are They Safe? [print this page] Sleepovers emit as many different responses as there are kids and parents. The question is often asked, "When is a child old enough for a sleepover?" Another similar question is, "Should I set an age limit on sleepovers?"
I don 't really want to admit this, but I can't remember ever asking those questions, or thinking much about it. Does that make me a bad parent? I 'd like to think it doesn 't. I was already very close to the person who kept my son overnight so when it came to that first sleepover, there was no need for me to be concerned. Our sons were very close in age and we spent a lot of time together.
For those who may be concerned, my first instinct to the question "when?" is not as important as the question "with who?" It's not just a matter of if they will take good care of my child, but can you trust them to meet my expectations? After all I am entrusting them with my precious child and just because I know them I can 't assume they have the same house rules as I.
Sleepovers are generally safe, as most parents don't let their kids stay with people they don't really know. But for those times when you don't know the parents well, the following questions can be a life saver in making your child feel protected and loved:
*What kind of TV shows, movies, or video games will they be watching or playing? You don't want him/her to be exposed to things he/she wouldn't be in your home.
*Will the parents be watching the children or will they leave others, such as teenagers in charge? Unless you know and trust their teenagers you may want to reschedule the sleepover.
*Are there weapons in the house? If yes, how and where are they kept? Are they kept locked up?
*Will other adults be in the home? Make sure it is the parents who will be supervising the whole time. Unless you know and trust the other adults in the house you may want to reschedule. In this day and age you just don't know what can happen.
I am not trying to instill a sense of fear about letting your child participate in a sleepover; I just want you to be aware that sometimes you have to ask the hard questions in order to feel comfortable letting your child go. A Parenting Safe Kids workshop can give you a lot more information than I can. They are offered all over the country.
When your child wants to spend the night at a friend's house and you don't know the parents well, you can suggest they come to your house. However, in order for that mom not to feel as uncomfortable as you, make an effort to meet the family and spend a little time getting to know them. The objective is that each child feels completely safe when away from home, and the parents are confident their child's needs are being met. The only way to make that happen is to develop a relationship with the parents to get some idea of what their house rules and values are.
by: Donna Randol
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